Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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