Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
