if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His nipple licking is glorious
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