I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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