Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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