what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
