Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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