You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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