return my video game
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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