Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
