i permit you to call me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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