Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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