i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
