I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
