can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
