I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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