i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
