suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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