what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
