so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
