i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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