How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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