Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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