There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
