The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
