remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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