and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize