sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
