i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
