I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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