i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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