He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
