Do you still have your period?
another moral hangover. fuck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
