she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
