Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
