I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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