Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Small penises have feelings too.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Randomize
