I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
