last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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