believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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