Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
