First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
