I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
