She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I want to fling myself into the sun
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize