there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
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