if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
