either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
honey bunches of taint.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
