How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
please don't ironically join a cult
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