its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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