I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
