And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
