Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
