Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
