I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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