new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
