Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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