Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
