no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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