So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
