I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No subtext here. People are naked.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
