i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
