I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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