sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so let's talk penis.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
