Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize