I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
