What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think your dad took our porno
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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