Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
