So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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