What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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