All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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