She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
