Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
